Brady versus Hepburn – Who was the greatest. (Satire)

Super bowls versus Oscars

As a big fan of Tom Brady, people often ask me, “How does Tom Brady stack up against Katherine Hepburn? It’s close, but even though Kate smoked them, she gets no cigar.

Hepburn – Years a film actress: 51. Oscar nominations 12; Wins: 5

Brady – Years in the NFL: 17. AFC East championships; 14. Super bowls; 7, Wins 5.

Winner: Brady

Notable quotes

Brady: Do your job.

Hepburn: Oh Spencer, you’re such a boobie.

Brady: Do your job. (It’s really his only quote.)

Hepburn: “If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.” (An online survey shows that 78% of the respondents associate this quote with Brady, but it’s actually a Hepburn quote.)

Winner: Clearly Hepburn

Ego size:

Brady: No discernable ego. (Or personality for that matter)

Hepburn: Entitled her autobiography “Me” fully confident that all 300 million Americans would know who that was.

Winner: Hepburn by the length of a football field.

Notable Cast Members

Brady: Gronkowski, Wes Welker, Randy Moss, Teddy Bruschi, Rob Ninkovich.

Hepburn: Cary Grant, Spencer Tracy, Humphrey Bogart, Jason Robarts, Sidney Poitier, John Wayne, Henry Fonda.

Winner: Brady. Hepburn never had a practice squad actor as a supporting actor. She also didn’t have supporting cast whose names sounded like cheap polish whiskey brands. (Bruschi, Ninkovich)




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